Are We There Yet?
by Aranel Mereneth
Summary: "Are we there yet?" Gimli banged his forehead against the hilt of his axe and groaned... "FOR THE HUNDREDTH TIME, YOU FOOL OF A TOOK! NO. WE. ARE. NOT. THERE. YET!" Please read and review!


**Are We There Yet?**

Pippin was bored.

It had only been two weeks since the Fellowship of nine had set out from Rivendell. The Company had all adopted a strained, silent demeanour. They had only stopped briefly to either rest or take a small meal and luckily so far, they had not encountered any trouble. To Pippin, it seemed like they had been walking for an eternity. When the young hobbit had glanced over the maps of Middle-Earth that Frodo carried, Mordor had not appeared to be _that_ far away! After all, it only took Pippin a couple of squiggly traces of his finger down the path leading from Rivendell to the Land of Shadow – and the size of the map wasn't even that big!

In addition, the quiet disposition of the Fellowship had begun to annoy him. All they had to do was help Frodo drop a ring into a mountain! It couldn't possibly be that difficult! The concept of silence was foreign to Pippin. He sighed in frustration and decided he simply _had_ to do something about it.

Pippin jogged up ahead in their group to Gandalf and poked his arm. The grey wizard turned and raised an eyebrow in question, slight apprehension in his stormy grey eyes. Pippin all but blurted out the question he so desperately wanted to hear the answer for.

"Are we there yet, Gandalf?"

The Fellowship abruptly halted and stared in bewilderment at the inquisitive hobbit. Gandalf sighed and rolled his eyes. "Not yet, Peregrin Took. We have a much darker road to cross yet and I doubt we will get there in time for your afternoon tea."

Pippin lowered his eyes and his shoulders drooped. He trudged back to his previous place next to Merry in between Boromir and Legolas.

_~ A few hours later... ~_

Pippin's stomach grumbled. They had not even stopped for supper yet and an empty stomach for an extremely hungry hobbit did not fare well for any who happened to be in his company.

"Are we there yet?"

Behind Gandalf, Frodo bit his lip to keep himself from laughing at his younger cousin's antics. Sam, Gimli and Aragorn rolled their eyes. Boromir, Legolas and Gandalf huffed in irritation.

"We won't be there for a _long _time, Pip! Hush! You will upset Gandalf!" Merry scolded his cousin.

"But Merry," Pippin whispered (very loudly). "I'm hungry."

Merry nudged him in the ribs and motioned for Pippin to zip his lips as they continued their trek through the hills, the setting sun painting the sky with colourful strokes of pink, orange and red. Pippin wound his arms tightly around his stomach and tried not to focus on his empty stomach. To him, reaching Mordor only seemed impossible if he did not get his fill of food...

"Are we there yet?" Gimli banged his forehead against the hilt of his axe and groaned.

The stars had now fixed themselves in the dark night sky, the moon illuminating the land with a soft, pale glow. The Fellowship had still not yet stopped for a proper rest, since Legolas had spotted orcs roaming the country ahead with his keen elven sight. Gandalf had thus led them on an even longer detour to a place he knew they could safely rest for the remaining of the night. Pippin was moaning in hunger now, and the Fellowship was now extremely agitated.

"Are we there yet?" Pippin repeated, clutching his stomach tighter. The Fellowship cried out in exasperation. Gandalf spun on his heel and in a flash was towering over Pippin, his eyes blazing in anger and aggravation.

"FOR THE HUNDREDTH TIME, YOU FOOL OF A TOOK! NO. WE. ARE. _NOT._ THERE. YET!"

Pippin gazed frightened up at the enraged wizard bellowing before him and gulped as Gandalf turned away and stomped – yes, _stomped_ over to a small cave announcing that they were to rest there for the night. Legolas volunteered on taking the first watch and sat in a tree nearby, gazing up at the stars, singing softly in elvish to himself. The soothing elvish melody instantly began to calm the nerves of the Company and slowly they drifted off into a peaceful slumber.

However, Pippin could not sleep. He tossed and turned on the uncomfortable stone floor, accidentally kicking Boromir in the ribs. The man grunted and then mumbled in his sleep, snoring softly. Pippin scrambled to his feet and attempted to exit the cave as quietly as possible as to not disturb his sleeping comrades. He stumbled over Gimli's leg, causing the dwarf to jerk his foot slightly in his sleep. Pippin was beyond hungry now, for Gandalf had only allowed the Fellowship to consume a couple of bites of _lembas_ to help satisfy their hunger, as a fire would have easily attracted the attention of any orcs that lingered in their vicinity. The hobbit tightly clasped his eyes shut and tried to control himself, breathing slowly. _In. Out. In. Out. In. Out._ Finally, the calm pattern lulled the poor hungry hobbit into a restless sleep.

Morning came, and the Fellowship took another bite of _lembas_ before they had set out on the road once more. Pippin's hunger had ruled out all sense, and the rest of the Fellowship was sure that Mordor would not lead them to their demise, but the young hobbit would drive them to insanity.

"Are we there yet?"

Sigh.

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

Groan.

"Are we there yet?"

"No!"

"Are we there yet?"

"Ai! No! We are not!"

"Are we there yet?"

"SHUT UP!"

"Are we there yet?"

"FOR THE MILLIONTH TIME, NO!"

"Are we there yet?"

Growl.

"Are we there yet?"

"That's it, Pip! No dinner for you tonight then!"

Pause.

"Are we there yet?"

Sob.

"Are we there yet?"

Silence.

"Are we there yet?"

"I am seriously considering tying him up in a sack and dragging him back to the Shire," Aragorn muttered.

"Or handing him over to orcs when we happen to cross them," Gimli grumbled.

"Or sewing his mouth shut."

"Or drugging him with a sleeping draught."

"Or maybe even - "

"Are we there yet?"

Months later, Pippin stood shoulder to shoulder with Merry amongst the army of the Free People of Middle-Earth in their final attempt to give Frodo and Sam a chance to defeat Sauron forever. Merry clasped his cousin's shoulder tightly and nodded. Pippin turned his gaze up towards the fiery lava that spat out from the top of Mount Doom. His fingers trembled and he grasped his sword tighter. His mind had miraculously forgotten about food and now focussed on his two hobbit friends entrapped in Mordor.

"Well, we're here now."

_**A/N: Review? =)**_


End file.
